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General Questions

Feb 24 Q1

How do you become a confident introvert?

Being an introvert can be challenging at times and part of the problem lies in the fact that society loves to divide us into one of two camps. Either you’re an introvert or you’re an extrovert. And it might seem that extroverts have an easier time in life. But while extroverts seem to carry their powers on the outside, introverts have hidden talents and secret powers that are incredibly useful.

A good way to become more confident is to change the label you, or others, place on you. Instead of calling yourself an introvert try to dig a little deeper. What does being an introvert really mean? It means you are probably observant, a good listener, thoughtful, introspective, and thoughtful. (Did I say thoughtful twice? Good!). And the world needs more people with those characteristics. So figure out what makes you YOU. Now, write those words down on a bunch of post it notes. Place them so you can see them first thing in the morning. Move them around each day. (That way you’ll be forced to look at them.)

Then remember, you are absolutely fine the way you are. You don’t have to be someone you’re not. So you might take a bit longer before you decide to answer a question. That’s okay. More than okay. That’s preferable. And so you prefer quiet rather than noisy places. That’s okay.

Once you accept the fact that you are great just the way you are, it will become easier to take up the space you deserve. If people talk over you, don’t stop. If you rather read a book than hang with friends, do just that. And if you want to hang with others, seek out people who are just as thoughtful, observant, and collected as you are. Because people like you will make room for people like you.

 

 

 

What are the tricks to boost your self-confidence?

 

 

In my opinion, self-confidence grows from within, one tiny step at a time, and it grows, not by thinking, but by taking action. The problem is that we go about it the wrong way. Too often we make these giant goals. But what happens if we fail to complete these goals? We see ourselves as total failures and the whole process as a total waste of time, making us feel even worse about ourselves than before we started.

If this is what happens to you, you might want to try this: Pick something you’d like to accomplish. Write it down. Now break down the goal you wrote down into tiny steps. What you want to do is to view each task as a self-contained unit. Each step is a separate and completed task, there to teach you something about yourself. Every time you finish one task, no matter how small it might seem, stop and acknowledge your hard work. What did you like or dislike about the task? Each step will become a stepping stone to a more confident you.

 

So take the time to praise yourself along the way. Acknowledge your mistakes as well. Failures are nothing but life lessons. They are great opportunities to gain self-confidence and practice introspection and problem-solving skills. It would be a shame to let that go to waste.

 

As you complete each task you’ll figure out who you are and what you are capable of. And with each completed task your confidence will grow. But only if you stop along the way to acknowledge the journey. And remember that self-confidence has a lot more to do with what you tell yourself than what other people tell you. Others can speak their minds but only you decide who gets to vote in your world.

 

 

I really want to get in shape but I can't seem to get started (even though I really want to), Why am I like this and what can I do about it?

​I could tell you about the virtues of discipline and staying focused, etc. But instead, I would like for you to figure out what exercise represents to you. Could it be that you (like so many of us) hesitate getting off the couch not because you’re unmotivated or lazy, but because you’re afraid to fail?

Could it be that when you imagine yourself exercising, a long row of harder-to-maintain expectations appear right behind it? There’s the expectation of a better-looking, if not perfect, body, and maybe worse than that: the expectation of keeping up the exercise routine and never again letting yourself go. If this is the case, no wonder you hesitate. The risk of failing is too big. So why even get started?

But what if you try to look at exercise as a stand-alone activity? What if you try viewing that hour at the gym or that fifteen-minute walk solely as you moving your body to keep your heart healthy and your body flexible enough for you to be able to bend over to tie your shoes? The biggest of transformations are more often than not built on lots of tiny goals, so by keeping your expectations low, you’re more likely to become and stay motivated.

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